Thursday, April 20, 2006

Why was Arrested Development cancelled? Because you are lame

Dear America,

Last night, because i like to re-open old wounds (and because Erin hadn't seen it yet), i re-watched the series finale of Arrested Development. This is a shame on so many levels - yes, the last 4 episodes were great, but not as great as another season would have been. There are many reasons i could give for why the show wasn't more popular: the documentary-style camera work, the obtrusive voice-overs, the endless supply of in-jokes that carry over from episode to episode (and even season to season), but only one thing is really true: The show didn't succeed because you suck.

In a country that elected a man who fell off of a device even Gob could ride, where, like Buster, people enjoy watching Skating with Celebrities, and where people only think of Parmesan as a delicious cheese, not enough people watched this fantastic show. Blame Fox if you like, but really, blame yourselves.

Blame yourselves for not introducing others to the show - if every one of the 5 million weekly viewers told their friends about it (like i tried to do), maybe enough people would have watched or Tivo'd it weekly.

Blame yourselves for not writing letters to Fox demanding another chance.

Blame yourselves for not buying the DVDs.

Blame yourselves most of all for your lack of trying. People often told me "i can't follow the show, its too confusing." I'm sorry, that is bullshit. If you gave it the old college try, you could easily follow the show. Yes, it is extremely self-referential, but that leads to some of the best gags the show had.

If a show's guest stars tell you about its quality (which i don't really believe - see Will and Grace - every unfunny episode of that show has some decent celeb sitting in), then argue with this: Zach Braff (Scrubs, Garden State), Liza Minelli (adored by gay men everywhere), Henry Winkler (the fucking FONZ!), Martin Mull (the guy who tried to bed Terri Garr in Mr. Mom), Scott Baio (Chachi! Charles! Diagnosis Murder!). Not to mention the cast itself: Jason Bateman (Teen Wolf Too!), David Cross (general hillarity), Jeffrey Tambor (The Larry Sanders Show, Muppets in Space), Jessica Walter (PCU). The comedy gods gave us the perfect television show: smart, funny, subversive, well written, well acted, multi-layered and just plain funny. And what did we do with it? We squandered it, you fucking robots!

So basically, next time you hear someone bemoaning bad tv, punch them in the neck - you had your chance America, and you blew it. Enjoy your Freddie!

Love and Kisses,


At 5:53 PM, Blogger Eileen said...

Even though I love Will & Grace, I otherwise agree with you. Plus, the cast also includes people that are married to people who star on SNL and Ellen's girlfriend. And guest stars such as Charlize Theron and people who were on Seinfeld, another funny show.

But then again, why would people want to watch a funny show that's smart when they can watch 87 shows about people solving yet another murder of a hooker?


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