Wednesday, March 30, 2005




As you can see from these lovely before and after photos, i have cut my trademark shaggy hair (actually, it happened way back in October, and then again in December, and is scheduled for next week to happen again). To me it was a simple thing - i wanted a change, so i acted on it. My character has not changed, i am not a "new man" or any of that bullshit - i used to have longer hair, and now it is short. Case closed.

Well, not exactly.

Apparently, everyone in the world, 'cept me and my smart friends/family, thinks my haircut has had an impact on the world the likes of which have not been seen aside from some very famous structures coming down (the WTC, the Berlin Wall, etc). People all the time say things like "I cannot BELIEVE that you cut your hair - that is insane!" Why is it insane? Why is it inconceivable that i could want to change how my hair looks?

However, worse yet are the people who make totally ignorant, shitty comments like "Oh Brian, i just respect you so much more with your hair short. It's like i can relate to you so much more now!" Fuck you shallow ho - where do you get off telling me that appearance has a damn thing to do with how people relate? Do you like me better than an even uglier person? Do you repsect me more because i can walk on my own two feet and i'm not in a wheelchair?

Just this past Friday someone came up to me and said "Excuse me, are you the same youth minister who started last summer?" I said "Yes." So she says, "Oh my. I didn't even recognize you. The last time i saw you i couldn't even pay attention to what you were saying because how you looked. This is much better!" And this came from someone IN CHURCH. What happened to the whole no judgement thing that guy Jesus was all about? And i'm sorry to break it to you folks, but i didn't have a 70s Afro or a 80s CeCe DeVille coif, i had shaggy hair. Its not like i pulled off some wig to reveal my bald head. I just cut my hair! I really cannot see how people can get away with such blatant discrimination based on someone's haircut. If so, that dude from A Flock of Seagulls must have never been able to do any sort of banking, food shopping or eating out, because his hair clearly looked stupider than mine did, and mine apparently made people tune me out and become incapable of relating with me.

The lesson i learned from all of this: Shave your head and see how people treat you. Then you'll be able to see who in your life is a total moron. And its cheaper than giving them all an IQ Test.


At 2:57 PM, Blogger Eileen said...

I do respect you more for not being in a wheelchair. Those people are just plain lazy!

But for real, I think people aren't used to boys changing their hair so much. Girls tend to have more flexibility that way and I think it surprises people to see you look so different. I also think their reactions are just plain rude. Is it shocking to see someone you know well look so different? Yes! But people who hardly know you need to shut up!

PS: I respect people in wheelchairs.

At 8:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cutting your hair is like watching Star Wars prequels, it just plain sucks cock.

Matt P

At 8:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Long time ago I dropped about 30 lbs. and suddenly everyone was nicer to me. Haircism seems a lot like fatcism. I try not to ever be mean to anyone who appears overweight - it's not like it's a crime, who said we should all be the same? Unless they are mean to me, in which case I let those fatties have it (and then run FAST!)


At 10:21 AM, Blogger Dave said...

Do you like me better than an even uglier person?

B...seriously. You have the cutest little puttem' in the world. (Unless people are turned off by a big Italian guy)

On a more serious note. Those who judge you for your hair are assholes. (I never JUDGED you, but I did walk right by you that day you got your hair cut sophomore year)


At 9:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man that's extreme. I can't believe people do that. Well, yes I can. . people are assmunchers. Yeah I said it, assmunchers.

At 9:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoops. . previous comment was by Sean. .

At 6:28 PM, Blogger Erin said...

I think it's suprising to people who knew you well cause you wanted hair much like Fabio (only brown). But I can't believe that person said that to you, you should have said "oh hi, I didn't recognize you cause last summer you were nicer"

At 5:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I can relate to this haircism of which you speak. You may recall that in December may hair was totally rockin'! But I had also been jobless for 7 months. I cut it all off and in January I finally land a job. I've decided now is the perfect time to grow it back to its Hamill-like stature. My job is going awesome and I don't think it would be a problem, unless one of my girls has a crazy day and rips my scalp off. But until that day comes I will be sporting my do' becasue it makes me happy. Fuck the squares.


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